Mom

My mom passed away a few hours ago. Within I feel a huge void where my heart used to be. She and I, we had a great relationship. There were times when it was war, she could push buttons no one else could, and there were times that were sheer laughter and joy. As I think back there were many more times of joy and laughter than the battles. I have no regrets, except that she could have been around more so I could harass her about showing me her recipes(which she wrote down for me a week ago), give her more hugs, tell her I loved her more(you can never say it enough), and just remind her that I truly and deeply appreciated everything she did for me, and my siblings. It hurts to think on these things, but I felt putting them out here, sharing this part of me would help. I won't say it makes the ache go away, because it doesn't, I think only time can do that. What I will say is that writing about it, sharing it, brings many of the joyful times to mind, and right now, that's enough.
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Rare as an eclipse

4:30 in the afternoon and my two dynamos are down for the count-at the same time! This is unprecedented and hasn't happened since last summer. This is what they look like when they are recharging for fun and mayhem : ).
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morning meditation.jpg

This is dojo this morning right before meditation. The space feels full of energy and yet is tranquil. One of my favorite times of the week.
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4am

Friday morning. My alarm in no uncertain terms informs me that class needs to happen soon. The only thing that makes this better is that its no longer 20 degrees and snowing. By this point I'm actually used to it, or so I tell myself. It all boils down to commitment and integrity, my favorite set of checks and balances. When all else fails, C and I step in quietly to remind you of your word. On some mornings it would be welcome if they slept in.
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First post

The first post in a new blog. It's a space that while influenced by the martial aspect of my life, is not driven by it. This is a space for the more mundane everyday going ons, ruminations, rants and observations. It will be exciting to see where this goes.
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